Well, back in the before times he was just an average Joe But we don't talk about the before times Then society collapsed maybe fifteen years ago And the world fell to madness and war crimes Now he travels all around From campsite to compound And if you can spare some food He'll perform his songs for you Uncle Fluffy is his name Uncle Fluffy is his name Well, back in the before times he had dreams of writing songs But we don't talk about the before times When whatever happened happened he no longer had a job So he sat and composed three or four lines Now he crosses this wasteland With a guitar in his hand Spreading helpful messages About how to survive in this brand new scary world in which we live Uncle Fluffy is his name Uncle Fluffy is his name (spoken) You know, when I was a kid there were any number of musicians and recording artists who made their entire living performing educational music for children, songs with important life lessons like "Don't hit your sister" and "Remember to floss", but, you know, those lessons just don't really feel like they apply anymore--I mean, who here even knows what flossing is?--but that doesn't mean that there aren't valuable educational opportunities to be found through the medium of children's music, so I decided to write some new songs, songs that more accurately reflect this post-apocalyptic hellscape we live in, and I'm going to share them with you right now... Now he'll never be a star But he travels near and far And he'll entertain your kids Without ever dwelling on what previous generations might have specifically done that caused this very particular apocalypse--it doesn't matter Uncle Fluffy is his name Uncle Fluffy is his name

I don't want to eat my veggies, Mama That's one thing that I just won't eat I don't want to eat my veggies, Mama That's when Mama said to me Finish your rations Finish them now Finish your rations There are starving people outside the compound I don't want to eat my protein, Mama That's one thing that I just won't eat I don't want to eat my protein, Mama That's when Mama said to me Finish your rations Finish them now Finish your rations There are starving people outside the compound But Mama, what don't we just give some of my food To the starving folks outside the compound? And she said "It's great that you want to give But you need food to live And we haven't got enough to go around" I don't want to drink my Kool-Aid, Mama That's one thing that I just won't drink Finish your rations Finish them now Finish your rations There are starving people outside the compound Come on and finish your rations You've got to finish them now Finish your rations You know there are starving people... Starving people outside the compound

Sometimes it feels like grown-ups are really tall And you don't seem to be getting big at all And you might think there's something wrong with you But there's not, no there's not You see it has to do with food security There's not enough to eat for you and me And when you're small, that affects how much you grow It's not your fault, it's just the way it goes But it doesn't change who you are on the inside You're getting so big on the inside You're growing up, just not in very noticeable amounts But you're getting so big on the inside, and that's what counts Grown-ups leave some awfully big shoes to fill I mean they're literally too big, and you never will And sometimes it feels like you'll never be big enough But don't you cry, it'll be just fine Because it doesn't change who you are on the inside You're getting so big on the inside You're growing up, just not in very noticeable amounts But you're getting so big on the inside, and that's what counts Maybe someday food will be secure And you'll know where your next meal comes from for sure And your children will be much bigger than you But if they're not, you know what to do Just remind them that it doesn't change who you are on the inside You're getting so big on the inside You're growing up, just not in very noticeable amounts But you're getting so big on the inside, and that's what counts Yes, you're getting so big on the inside, and that's what counts

So you're out foraging for food You see some mushrooms, you know what you have to do But you can't remember if these are the kind That are even safe to touch You don't want to let your community down But you just weren't ready when push came to shove Well, looking for food doesn't make you a forager Practice does Looking for food doesn't make you a forager Practice does You gotta practice from sun-up until the sun is sinking 'Til you can identify 'shrooms without thinking Being there is not enough What makes you good at foraging? Practice does! (spoken) Practice is really important--isn't that right? Besides, civilization has collapsed I mean, what else are you going to do with your time? So you're far from home, it's getting dark You need to build a shelter, but you can't remember how to start Well the temperatures dropping and the light's getting low And you think you heard a bear You don't want to let your community down Maybe you can find a cave somewhere Well, being alive doesn't make you a survivor Practice does Being alive doesn't make you a survivor Practice does You gotta practice from sun-up until the sun is sinking 'Til you can build a shelter without even thinking Being there is not enough What makes you good at staying alive? Practice does! Practicing is great, it can be fun It's good for you, it's good for me, it's good for everyone Just find someone to show you how, and then Do it yourself again and again and again and again and again and again and again So you caught someone stealing food You pick up your knife, you know what you have to do But you suddenly find you don't have the courage The will to do the deed You don't want to let your community down Maybe he'll learn his lesson if you just make him bleed a little NAH! Holding a weapon doesn't make you a killer Practice does Holding a weapon doesn't make you a killer Practice does You gotta practice from sun-up until the sun is sinking So you can deal the killing blow without thinking Being armed is not enough What makes you good at killing thieves? Practice does!

It's time to play The "No Questions" Game Anyone can do it, it's easy to play So gather 'round, we're gonna play all day The "No Questions" Game If you want to win The "No Questions" Game The response to every question is exactly the same "We'll talk about it later" That's what you say in The "No Questions" Game (spoken) Okay, it's time to play the game. The rules are really simple: I'm going to ask you a question, then you say "We'll talk about it later." It's that easy. Are you ready to give it a try? (Yeah!) Okay, so maybe I wasn't 100% clear on how this works. When I ask a questions--ANY question--you say "We'll talk about it later." So... Are you ready? (We'll talk about it later!) Now you're getting it. What time is it? (We'll talk about it later!) Where are we going? (We'll talk about it later!) Who's shooting at us? (We'll talk about it later!) Oh, yeah! Because now is the time for action We'll deal with your questions later Now is the time for action We'll deal with all your questions if we live So now we're gonna play The "No Questions" Game Anyone can do it, it's easy to play So gather 'round, we're gonna play all day The "No Questions" Game If you want to win The "No Questions" Game The answer to each question is exactly the same "We'll talk about it later" That's what you say in The "No Questions" Game (spoken) Alright, time for round two! Y'all know what to do Did we do something wrong? (We'll talk about it later!) Do we really have to leave? (We'll talk about it later!) Where's Dad? (We'll talk about it later!) Oh, yeah! Because now is the time for action We'll deal with your questions later Now is the time for action We'll deal with all your questions if we live

Jessie decided they wanted to make music But they didn't have a drum or a guitar So they made do with what they had around them They could hum and they could tap a mason jar And then they danced like there's no tomorrow They danced like there's no tomorrow They danced like there's no tomorrow 'Cause there might not be Tom and Jane heard what Jessie was doing They decided to lend their voices to he mix The hummed and sang a loud and raucous harmony They clapped their hands and banged some pots with sticks And then they danced like there's no tomorrow They danced like there's no tomorrow They danced like there's no tomorrow 'Cause there might not be Soon their band had a dozen kids or more in it They were stomping and clapping and snapping with the fam And everyone around came out to hear them And every night they played their latest jam And then they danced like there's no tomorrow They danced like there's no tomorrow They danced like there's no tomorrow 'Cause there might not be Music's not about a big performance Music's not about how good you sound Music's just a thing we do together And we do it best with all our friends around And then we dance like there's no tomorrow We dance like there's no tomorrow We dance like there's no tomorrow 'Cause there might not be You gotta dance like there's no tomorrow Just dance like there's no tomorrow Everybody dance like there's no tomorrow 'Cause there might not be But if there is Then tomorrow night we're gonna dance again

Teddy hurt his hand playing with a knife He was doing something risky And he knew that it would hurt real bad When they cleaned it out with whisky Well, he figured no one would notice If he just kept it wrapped up tight Then it started to stink and it started to turn And that's when Teddy died 'Cause there's one thing we can't fight anymore Infection Keep your owies clean if you want to avoid Infection 'Cause you can't keep the germs out with a bandage or a door And we can't fight infection anymore Cathy was hunting in the woods She was desperate to eat So she killed a deer and took a bite Without cooking the meat Well, her stomach didn't feel so good When she got back home that night And then she puked on everyone one And that's when Cathy died--Ow! 'Cause there's one thing we can't fight anymore Infection Always cook your meat and don't eat off the floor Infection Cooking food will kill the germs that make your tummy sore And we can't fight infection anymore (spoken) Guitar! Ooo! Oh, you make it sound so sweet Well, Bobby had to poop real bad While he was guarding the drinking water So he buried it next to the well Even though he knew he shouldn't oughtta It only took a week for those germs To leech their way inside And then the diarrhea set in And that's when the village died--Alright! 'Cause there's one thing we can't fight anymore Infection Always bury your scat away from your food stores Infection 'Cause germs will absolutely kill that family of yours And we can't fight infection anymore 'Cause there's one thing we can't fight anymore Infection Keep your owies clean and don't eat off the floor Infection 'Cause germs will absolutely kill that family of yours Can we fight infection? (No!) Can we fight infection? (No!) We can't fight infection anymore

It was a moonlit night Their eyes met from across the floor The moment took her by surprise She'd never really noticed him before And they began to talk A crazy notion came into their heads So hand in hand they went out "for a walk" Only to find her daughter wide away, wanting to sleep in mommy's bed Leave grown-ups alone If you want to be a sister or a brother Leave grown-ups alone They need some time with just one another Mind your own business until they're through I guarantee you'll see a smile 'Cause you gotta leave grown-ups alone Once in a while The girl was three years old And in her own way so very much alone She wanted more than anything A baby sister or brother of her own And she would beg her mom for one At literally any chance she'd get But when her mom wanted some time with her "special friend" That little girl would scream and cry and throw a fit Leave grown-ups alone If you want to be a sister or a brother Leave grown-ups alone They need some time with just one another Mind your own business until they're through I guarantee you'll see a smile 'Cause you gotta leave grown-ups alone Once in a while Ooooooo, ooooooo Oh oh oh Sometimes grown-ups say Ooooooo, ooooooo Oh oh oh You gotta leave 'em alone when they say Ooooooo, ooooohhhhh Ooooooh, ooooohhhhh Oh, you gotta leave them alone The boy was just fifteen And already considered himself a man And he'd managed to catch the eye Of one of his little sister's little friends And those two would try To find a quiet place to sneak away But it seemed that everywhere they went His sister and her gang Would show up and demand their friend come play Never leave teens alone Or you're gonna become an uncle or an aunt Never leave teens alone When they keep trying to touch each other's pants Just get in their business even if they're upset They'll thank you eventually 'Cause you can't leave teens alone Ever

One, two, three, four Some people think they can make it on their own They don't need to depend on anyone They build themselves a fortress and they live in it alone Full of stockpiled food and booby-traps and guns But accidents can happen, you get sick, you get hurt You might throw your back out falling down the stairs And the ones who lived aren't the ones who prepared The ones who live are the ones who care You're here 'cause someone cared for you And made you part of their community And that person--someone cared for them two And that's why they're here with you and me Nobody can make it on their own Life is something precious that we share And the ones who lived aren't the ones who prepared The ones who live are the ones who care We watch each other's backs We scratch each other's backs We never stab each other in the back We laugh with one another We cry with one another We die alone if we can't learn To live with one another Doo doo doo, doo doo doo Doo doo doo, doo doo doo Doo doo doo, doo doo doo Doo doo doo, doo doo doo Nobody can make it on their own Life is something precious that we share And the ones who lived aren't the ones who prepared The ones who live are the ones who care So find someone special and make sure they're aware You're only here because they cared You're only here because they cared

Grown-ups think about the past How the world was different then And sometimes they might get upset About the way things were or might have been And it's not easy to see your grown-up Overwhelmed or sad So just remember this little song And maybe things won't seem so bad Sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason It's not about you Sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason There's only one thing you can do You gotta give them a little space To wipe the teardrops from their face Sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason Grown-ups like to share old stories That they loved as a child The books and movies and TV shows That made their childhood seem worthwhile And you ask "What's a TV show?" Well, that's a lot to explain And knowing they'll never see one again Might cause them a little pain Sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason It's not about you Sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason There's only one thing you can do You gotta give them a little space To remember the things that can't be replaced Sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason They're not angry, just a little sad It's nothing you did that made them feel bad And there's nothing you can do to fix it at all Their world will never be right again, but it's not your fault Grown-ups think about the loved ones They lost along the way And sometimes they act out their hurt By looking for someone to blame And sometimes they decide to blame The first person they see And if that happens to be you They don't mean it personally It's just that sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason It's not about you Sometimes grown-ups cry for no reason There's only one thing you can do You gotta give them a little space To remember the people who can't be replaced Sometimes grown-ups cry Yeah sometimes grown-ups cry Sometimes grown-ups cry For no reason

So your mouth hurts, well sometimes mine hurts too And you dread the moments when you're gonna have to chew You ignored it, you thought it'd get better on its own And now you're lying awake at night, crying all alone Because they pain won't go away, it's here to stay No way you can go and play It's time to finally say Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth It'll hurt in the moment, but in long run, it'll be better for you Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth Everybody's done it, even your Uncle Bob and your Aunt Ruth That's the tooth truth Grown-ups used to hate going to the dentist But I bet they'd love to see a dentist now Because of how much it hurts when you breathe wrong To say nothing of how it feels when you bite down And then crack you feel attack, I'm sorry Jack On your back like you've been smacked It's time to face the facts Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth It'll hurt in the moment, but in long run, it'll be better for you Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth Everybody's done it, in their old age and in their youth That's the tooth truth That's the tooth truth That's the tooth truth We used to have all these specialists Dentists and dental hygienists Optometrists, podiatrists, psychiatrists, physical therapists Urologists, dermatologists, and even gastroenterologists All these people who can help you when you're stuck But now if your body isn't perfect you're... Fairly out of luck Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth It'll hurt in the moment, but in long run, it'll be better for you Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth Everybody's done it, so go on, have a shot of 80 proof That's the tooth truth Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth It'll hurt in the moment, but in long run, it'll be better for you Let me tell you truth, somebody's gonna have to pull that tooth You can't just wave a magic wand, make it go "poof" That's the tooth truth

(spoken) Can anyone hear me? Is there anyone out there? If you can hear this, please respond Hello? Is there anybody? Anybody? Please? Please respond... Things could have been different It didn't have to be this way And we're counting on you to make it right someday You're too young to remember the before times To know how wonderful civilization was A world that bustled with people Where food sprang out of the ground So much to do, so many folks to love Things could have been different It didn't have to be this way And we're counting on you to make it right someday It could have been a famine, it could have been nuclear war It could have been the carbon in the air It could have been a virus, or the rich exploiting the poor It could have been avoided if we'd only cared Things could have been different It didn't have to be this way And we're counting on you to make it right someday It could have been a populist uprising It could have been a zombie apocalypse (ask your grown-up) It doesn't matter what it was or wasn't What matters is we didn't get it fixed Things could have been different It didn't have to be this way And we're counting on you to make it right someday Now it's not fair to lay this burden on you It's far too much to ask a bunch of kids But you're the only hope we can hold onto To make the world a better one than this Things could have been different It didn't have to be this way And we're counting on you to make it right someday Now I'm not here to tell you who's to blame for Everything with society that went wrong I'm just trying to help you all look forward To make a better future when I'm gone Things could have been different It didn't have to be this way And we're counting on you to make it right someday Yeah, we're counting on you to make it right someday Things could have been different It didn't have to be this way ... Ooooh... Things could have been different So much different So much different... ... Things could be different It doesn't have to be this way